


Her lips smiled but her eyes didn't

by emmsbelively



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-27
Updated: 2016-07-19
Packaged: 2018-07-18 15:49:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 11,102
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7321270
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emmsbelively/pseuds/emmsbelively
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Octavia ran away. She met a guy that she thought could take care of her for a while. His name was Atom. Octavia wasn't afraid of anything. Well, not at the time. But after two weeks, her impetuous behaviour led her into troubles.<br/>Something happens. Something bad. A thing that Octavia will try to forget for the rest of her life.<br/>And maybe Raven will help her forget. Even if she's broke too.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi guys :D  
> This is my first story on AO3. I'm french so I hope I didn't make any mistakes :S  
> Anyway, thanks to my friend Charlotte who corrected me (HodnesLaikKwelnes on Ao3) <3

_There was a baby crying and a woman standing right behind it. She was wearing a long, white dress. She walked towards the baby but instead of taking him into her arms like she was supposed to, only looked at him intensely. She tilted her head slightly, making her look insane, scary. The baby screamed louder. She then revealed what she was holding behind her back. It was a knife._

Octavia woke up, short of breath and sweaty. Once again. 

It was just a dream; it was only in her head. So why had she been so afraid? Why did it seem so real? 

She managed to catch her breathe and laid her head down on the pillow. She closed her eyes and tried going back to sleep, but she could still see flashes of her dream in her head.

It was the same dream over and over again. 

She knew it was her. She knew she was the baby. 

She didn't understand though. She never had the courage to talk to someone about that dream, even to her brother. 

*

Octavia's mother died 16 years ago. She never really had memories about her, she was only one year old at the time. During her childhood, her brother always tried to protect her. Not once, he let himself getting down into sorrow. She actually never saw him cry. Both were placed in an orphanage. Some people used to say it was a “chance to start anew”. But Octavia always resented that place. It smelled like a hospital and the people in there always looked at her with pity. 

Bellamy took care of his little sister the best he could. 

But Octavia grew up and she became wild and impulsive. He always tried to impose his rules on her, but being the spontaneous girl that she was, usually got frustrated. She couldn't understand why her brother was always so scared about everything. She just wanted to be independent, to free herself from the hell-hole that was the orphanage, and discover what the world could offer.

She imagined how it was to live out there, without anyone to tell her what to do.

When Bellamy turned 18 and aged out of the system, he found a small, affordable apartment, and assured Octavia that as soon as she hit her 18th birthday, she could move in with him.

That had been Bellamy’s plan, but Octavia had another one in mind.

 

A week after Bellamy had left, not being able to take it anymore, she put her plan into action. She made sure to stop by Bellamy’s place after breaking out of the orphanage and left a note in his mailbox telling him that she was leaving and asking him not to look for her. She didn’t actually have a plan of where to go, but the adrenaline that she was feeling at the idea of being on her own for the first time made her fears irrelevant.

Octavia took the small amount of money she had managed to gather from under her mattress. She knew very well that she will eventually need more, but decided not to worry about it until she was actually out. 

She knew she was pretty and could use that to her advantage, whether it was to steal, eat or sleep. In others words, she had no shame in taking things from people in order to survive. 

Standing on the sidewalk in front of her brother’s apartment, in the middle of the night, she looked up at the window she knew to be his, murmured a quiet goodbye and ran off. 

*

She stopped running after a while, not being quite as athletic as she looked. Now walking aimlessly on the dark street occasionally illuminated but flickering lampposts, she couldn’t stop thinking about what to do next.  
She had no connections whatsoever and didn’t have enough cash to rent a room anywhere, even just for the night.

Maybe she should have thought this through a little more.

It was almost midnight, and she was all alone and more scared than she cared to admit. She considered going back to the orphanage, calling her brother the next day and telling him that the whole thing was just a prank. But she knew that this would be her only chance to leave. Even if her brother bought the whole prank thing, the orphanage surely would not and would certainly keep a closer eye on her from now on. So she kept walking, crossing her arms in hope to keep herself warm.

*

After a sleepless night where she alternated between walking and taking breaks on random benches, she met a guy that she thought could take care of her for a while. His name was Atom. He had a small apartment with a very impressive collection of CDs, and when he offered her to stay for a bit, she agreed. Stupidly. 

Where else could she go anyway? He seems nice enough and wasn’t hard on the eyes. She kept telling herself that was it only temporary. 

Octavia wasn't afraid of anything. Well, not at the time.

But after two weeks, her impetuous behaviour led her into troubles.  
Something happened. Something bad. A thing that Octavia will try to forget for the rest of her life. 

*

It was a rainy night.

When Octavia and Atom went back to the apartment, she sat on the couch. Her clothes were wet so she decided to take her jacket and shoes off. Atom looked at her out of the corner of his eyes, removing his own jacket slowly.

She quickly took her sweater and her jeans off as well, his eyes still locked onto her but she wasn’t paying him enough attention to notice. She was cold and tired and just wanted to warm up as fast as possible. She stood up and starting heading towards the bedroom to find herself some clothes, but she suddenly felt a strong hand on her wrist, stopping her in her tracks.

Before she knew what was happening, she was facing him, his hands holding onto her hips tightly, his mouth on her neck.

She was petrified. She knew exactly what was happening and her breathing became ragged. 

She tried pushing him off of her, but he was significantly stronger and all she did was lose her balance.

They fell on the couch, Atom immobilizing her with is weight, mouth never leaving her throat. She could feel his breath on her skin, sending shivers down her spine.

She couldn’t do anything, she couldn’t even bring herself to scream, the fear immobilizing her completely.

The tears began to fall as he entered her brutally, and kept falling for the rest of the night.  
*

When she woke up the next morning, it was with a bitter taste in her mouth and a sharp pain between her legs. 

 

Confused, she opened her eyes slowly. As soon as her eyes landed and the figure next to her, everything came back to her. She instantly felt nauseous, eyes watering. 

She wanted to leave. She had to leave. She stood up as quietly as she could and dressed herself quietly. 

But when she turned around, he was staring straight at her.

Once again frozen in place, he got up and walked towards her.

He told her that he wanted to be with her, that they could be happy together.  
Octavia may have been stupid enough to accept his offer about staying with him for a while, but she wasn’t about to believe that.  
She never wanted to experience what she had felt the night before ever again. 

She told him she had to leave and tried to make a break for the door but he quickly stopped her by grabbing her arm. She managed to get loose but that just made him angrier, and before she knew it, she was on the floor, world spinning around her, right cheek throbbing.  
As she saw his hand come close to her face again, she brought both hands up in order to protect what she could, but he grabbed her hair and only stopped punching when he realized she was unconscious.

She roused some time later on the couch, completely naked. 

She could once again fell the bile rising, but she decided to ignore what could have happened these past few hours for the time being. She stood up difficultly, her entire body sore, her face caked with dried blood. She brought her hand up to try and soothe the pain, but ended up making it worse.

She took a quick look around the apartment and noticed that she had been left alone.  
She put clothes on and packed all of her stuff in her backpack, opting for a quick exit.

As soon as she made it out the door, she ran as fast as she could for as long as she could. She only realized she had been crying when she stopped. 

Out of breath, she sat down on a bench in a deserted park. She collapsed in sorrow for few minutes before she passed out, completely exhausted and shaken from the events of the day. 

*

Octavia woke up with a gasp, completely terrified, when she felt a hand on her shoulder. A brunette stood above her, a frown on her face. 

She noticed despite the dimness of the park that the girl's skin was a little bit darker than hers. Octavia also noticed that she was disabled; she had a metallic brace on her left leg.

The girl long brown hair was up in a ponytail. She looked at Octavia in concern. 

“Dude, you can’t sleep in the park, you’ll get arrested.” 

At Octavia's silence, she asked with a soft voice:

"What happened to your face?"

Octavia shook her head and remained silent. She looked down ashamed and mumbled that she had nowhere to go, despair evident in her voice.

"My house is not very far, if you’re interested to spend the rest of the night-” She started to propose.

“I don’t know you.” Octavia interrupted her harshly, suspicious and scared. 

She will not get through the same shit again. She will be fine on her own from now on. But the girl replied with a sigh :

"Well, my name's Raven. Nice to meet you."

Octavia looked at her. The tone of the girl made her thought that maybe she was making fun of her. But Raven just added softly :

“I can’t just leave you here in your condition. I could at least call someone for you, maybe drive you to the hospital...”

Octavia disrupted her in panic:

“No. No hospital. I’m fine. It’s just a scratch.”  
Raven didn't insist and after few seconds staring at Octavia's etch, she pointed the empty place on the bench next to her.

"Do you mind if I sit there? I'm kind of tired." Raven said taping on her left leg with her hand.

Not really knowing any others alternatives, Octavia nodded quietly. Raven took a seat and smiled at her without saying anything. In the end it was Octavia who decided to break the silence :

"I'm Octavia."

Raven nodded with a smirk:

"That's a pretty name."

Octavia managed to crack a smile. Then, she looked at Raven's leg with a frown: 

"Does… does it hurt?"

The other girl looked over, confused.

"I mean… your leg. It is painful?" Octavia asked quietly.

Raven didn't like to talk about her disability so instead of answering the brunette's question, she let escape a laugh. Octavia shook her head and said dryly, feeling offended:

"What's so funny?"

Raven stopped sniggering in front of Octavia's irritated look. She mumbled with a smirk:

"Well, it's kind of ironic given that your face is all messed up."

Raven regretted her words the moment she saw the tears filling Octavia's eyes. This latter looked down to hide the tears rolling down her cheeks. 

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to be rude…" Raven said quietly.

She was definitely embarrassed. She wanted to ask this girl so many questions and make her feel safe and she blew it. She hated herself for being sarcastic all the time. It had been sort of her "thing" for a while now. Like a defence weapon. 

The brunette might have guessed that she was uncomfortable because she said softly: 

"It's okay."

They stayed silent for a moment before Raven stood up. It was late and she felt tired. She wanted to go home but she didn't want to leave Octavia alone. She sighed and turned back to her. She said with a casual tone:

“Listen, I won't hurt you or anything. You need to rest and I have a spare room you could use. There's a lock on the inside of the door, if that makes you feel better. But really, I don't see why you should be afraid of me. I mean, I'm disabled, what am I gonna do?"

The girl was smiling at her. 

Octavia considered her offer. She wasn't entirely at peace with the idea, that was for sure. But she was exhausted. And there was something about Raven, something appeasing. Her eyes were so full of gentleness and honesty. Octavia's fear was gradually subsided the longer the girl showed that little hopeful smile.

She took a deep breath and got to her feet. She followed Raven in the dark night.

No matter what might happen now, she just got through the worse anyway.


	2. Chapter 2

Octavia woke up in a luxurious bed, large with soft, white sheets. For the first few seconds, she forgot where she was.

When she felt her cheek throb it immediately reminded her of what had happened the day before. She closed her eyes for a minute and took a deep breath to avoid panicking. Her mouth was dry, she noticed she was thirsty. 

She finally managed to stand and slowly walked down the stairs. It was a rustic house, she could tell by the stairs which were made of old wood.

She took few step forwards and saw Raven, sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee between her hands. A full plate of breakfast food was sitting in front of her: pancakes, some fruits, bread and jam. Everything looked delicious.

“Oh, you’re awake!” Raven said with enthusiasm.

She smiled nicely and stood up to move towards the kitchen's sink. Octavia figured that Raven wasn't more than a couple years older than her. She had let her hair down which were falling onto her back and Octavia thought she looked even more beautiful than the night before. Maybe she didn't notice it because it was dark.

But Octavia cut off her staring when a sudden dizziness seized her. She had to lean against the wall to keep herself from falling. Raven noticed she wasn't feeling well and rushed towards her to hold her up by the arm. 

Then she made her sit at the table and said with anxiety: 

“You need to eat something."

Octavia glared at her. She grabbed an apple from the fruit basket and started to eat slowly.

Raven looked at her without saying anything so she kept eating slowly.

"Did you sleep well?" the brunette finally asked.

"Yeah. Thank you…" Octavia answered quietly.

"It's nothing really." Raven replied with a smirk before adding softly :

"So… You want to talk about it?"

Octavia looked down and swallowed a bit of apple slowly. Her jaw clenched. She clearly didn't want to put words on what had happened to her. And she didn't feel like setting out her misfortune with a girl she barely knew. 

"I… Not really…" She said with a shaky voice.

Raven nodded:

"That's cool. You don't have to."

She didn't bother her with any other question, noticing that the most obvious thing was that Octavia needed to rest. And so she did.

*

 

_A few weeks later_

"I can't just stay here forever. I mean… this is your place, I.."

"Don't you worry about it. I like having you here. You can stay for as long as you need, okay?"

Raven smiled at Octavia while being focused on the coffee machine that she was trying to set up. Octavia had told her to just buy another one but Raven always had the need to fix absolutely everything. She liked being able to keep her hands and mind busy. Even if her left leg was pretty damaged, her brain was all kinds of awesome.

"Here we go! It's working! Look."

She pressed the red button of the coffee machine and gave Octavia a big smile of satisfaction when she heard the throb and the coffee poured out into the cup. Octavia laughed quietly. 

She thought about the night she met Raven. This girl saved her. She owed her everything. And she clearly didn't want to leave her to move somewhere else. But she also didn't want to disturb her, to make her presence too imposing. Raven had been kind enough this past few weeks by welcoming her, a stranger, into her house. 

The style of Raven's place was all about being cosy. Octavia's bedroom was wide with a clean wooden floor, a double bed and a desk with a blank blotter on it. A sliding closet opposite the bed and there was a thin red carpet in front of it. 

The bathroom was next to her bedroom. The tub and the towels were always dry. The medicine cabinet above the sink had a mirrored door and behind it were over-the-counter analgesics (for Raven's leg), toothpaste, tampons, dental floss and shampoo.

Down the stairs, the walls were white and covered by some painting made by Raven's best friend, Clarke. 

Octavia hadn't had the chance to meet her yet but Raven told her it was mostly because she was so damn busy since she met her new girlfriend, Lexa. 

Anyway, Octavia had found a job as a waitress in a fast food downtown and could now participate in paying the rent even if Raven refused at first, telling her she didn't need to do that. She said she could afford the place on her own. But Octavia insisted so Raven took the money reluctantly. 

"What are you doing tonight?", Octavia asked suddenly while heading towards the fridge to grab a soda. 

Raven turned back to her, leaning beside the sink so as to not put all her weight on her leg. 

"Hum, watching Netflix probably. Why?" She replied with her usual sarcastic tone. 

Octavia feign a laugh and opened her soda. She took a sip then added with a smirk:

"Wanna go out?"

Raven raised her eyebrows in surprise and looked at Octavia. She pursed her lips, without knowing exactly how to respond. She didn't want to upset Octavia or anything. 

"I.. don't know…", she mumbled quietly.

"C'mon ! It will be fun, I promise." Octavia insisted.

The brunette's eyes were bright with excitement and her smile was so adorable that Raven sighed and finally said with a tiny voice :

"Yeah ok…"

Octavia giggled, all thrilled by the idea to spend some time outside for a change. 

But she didn't know that Raven was actually afraid about going out. Her roommate had no idea how it was for her. It's not that Raven wasn't _able_ to go out for one night and have a couple drinks. It was just the usual act of being with… _people_. 

It was the others that Raven was the most afraid of. She knew that outside, it would be all about staring at her and being judgmental about her condition. Sometimes, only a simple pity look can hurt. 

With Octavia, it was different. This girl didn't seem to pay attention to Raven's disability. She was treating her like a normal human being and Raven was so thankful for that. 

There was something unusual about Octavia, like she could fall apart all of a sudden and just... break. There was a time Raven heard her crying behind the door of her bedroom. Raven never had the courage to enter and go talk to her. She had never been really good with feelings.

Basically, Raven liked to think that Octavia and she were not that different from each other after all. 

She knew she will have to face the world outside sooner or later. And plus, she wanted to make Octavia happy.

So she took a deep breath, forced a smile and grabbed her red leather jacket to follow Octavia outside.

*

_At the bar, one hour later_

"We're going to have two beers please."

Raven and Octavia were sitting at a table in the back of the DATBAR. It was Raven's favourite so Octavia didn't hesitate and agreed to come here. 

Raven tried to hide her nervousness but Octavia might have noticed because she asked with a frown :

"Are you okay?"

"Hum, yeah… Sorry…", Raven said, confused. 

The brunette smiled at her while the waitress brought them their drinks. Octavia couldn't prevent herself to notice when Raven turned her head and stared at the girl while she walked away to join the bar. Octavia bite her lip to keep herself from laughing. Raven turned back at her and blushed :

"What?"

"Nothing…", Octavia replied with a smirk, touching her hair and teasing her friend with a look. 

Raven frowned and she felt her cheeks burning a little more. Octavia rolled her eyes and added with a smile :

"It's okay, you don't have to hide it."

Raven pursed her lips, disconcerted. She hadn't been very discrete on that one, she admitted it. She mumbled with a smile on the corner of her mouth :

"You didn't… guess before?"

"Nope." Octavia said, shaking her head and taking a slip of beer.

Raven added, trying to turn her embarrassment into amusement:

"Really? I mean, I'm wearing flannels all the time. It's pretty obvious."

She had what she expected : Octavia laughed softly. 

"So flannels are only for lesbians now?"

"No," Raven replied with a small laugh. "But it's kind of a clue..."

Octavia sniggered again and Raven thought she looked adorable. 

They talked and laughed like that for a while until some girl with long brown hair and skin walk towards them and launched a laid back "Hi there". 

Octavia and Raven raised their head at the same time. But Octavia looked towards Raven almost immediately, noticing the Hispanic girl wasn't actually talking to her but to Raven. She drank her beer to hide her smile.

"Hum, hey..", Raven responded awkwardly. 

She didn't expected a girl starting to flirt with her. She started to think that, maybe, she shouldn't have chosen this kind of bar… Now, she was confronted to an embarrassing scenario and all of it was taking place in front of Octavia's amused face. 

"My name is Sabrina." The girl added with an enterprising smile. 

She was beautiful, Raven couldn't deny it. Sabrina continued, looking confident :

"Are you two a couple or something?"

Octavia shook her head slowly and Raven's joined her. The girl added with a satisfy tone:

"Cool. So maybe you could grab another drink with me at the bar?"

She was looking hotly at Raven, waiting to her to answer. This girl definitely knew what she wanted. She was the hit it and quit it type of lesbian. Raven didn't really like those kind of "relationships". 

Octavia looked down at her drink. Sabrina was really cute, her friend wouldn't decline her offer. She thought that her moment with Raven will certainly end soon. She was strangely annoyed by that but she didn't really know why exactly. She didn't say anything because, well, if Raven wanted to make out with that girl, she didn't really have her word to say.

Raven finally replied, glancing at the girl with a smirk :

"Hum, maybe you could join us here, what do you think? I prefer not moving right now…"

Sabrina raised her eyebrows in surprise and said with a laugh :

"Why? Are you too drunk or something?"

Raven bit her lip and added softly while showing her brace:

"No... It's just not easy for me to move a lot, you see?"

The smile that Sabrina displayed since she got there vanished suddenly. She pursed her lips in embarrassment and mumbled :

"Oh… I'm.. I'm sorry.. I didn't know…"

Raven shook her head and said :

"It's okay."

But Sabrina added with a mercy look on her face :

"Sorry… I should… I have to go…"

And before Raven could reply anything, the girl walked away and went back to her friends. 

Raven sighed and Octavia frowned. All of this happened really fast, she really didn't understand the girl's sudden reaction who seemed really into her friend few minutes ago.

Raven noticed that Octavia looked mad and wanted to say something. She was actually used to that kind of refusal with girls, the type that judged her by her disability before getting to know her. It was common affair in her life. But it was the first time Octavia ever witnessed this kind of judgment.

Raven wasn't upset about Sabrina at all but she was rather ashamed about what Octavia just saw.

"What a bitch!" Octavia exploded.

Raven sighed and smiled nicely at her:

"It's okay. I'm used to that kind of reaction from people."

Octavia opened her eyes and mouth wide. She looked like she was about to go through that bar and punch Sabrina in the face. But she just added with a broken voice :

"You… You shouldn't be treated like that."

Raven played with her hair and shook her head in disregard. She didn't care, really. She just wanted to calm Octavia:

"She didn't do anything wrong… She just got scared. You can't blame her."

"Of course I can!" Octavia said loudly.

It made Raven smile a little to see her friend taking this so personally. Raven didn't like to see Octavia upset but she also was pretty glad that she was taking her side like that. 

Octavia added, still furious :

"She's just so stupid. She didn't even take the chance to get to know you. I'm sorry... it just making me so mad…"

She looked down at her beer with a sigh. Raven smiled and took Octavia's hand in hers. The latter raised her head and looked at her. After a short silence, Raven said softly:

"Can we go home now?"

Octavia nodded and they walked outside. 

*

They didn't talk on the way back. The cab let them out a few moments later. It felt good to be home. Raven felt tired. Before Octavia headed towards the stairs to reach her bedroom, she launched behind her :

"Wait."

Octavia turned back and Raven took a step towards her. She pursed her lips nervously and said with a soft smile:

"I really had a great time tonight."

Octavia smiled at her and stroke her arm nicely.

"Yeah, me too."

Raven stared at her deeply and Octavia added with a quiet voice, her hand now into Raven's :

"I'm sorry this bitch ruined everything..."

Raven shook her head, stroking Octavia's hand between hers and smiled :

"She didn't…"

The two girls looked at each others intensely. 

They both felt something growing inside their chest. Octavia didn't know if it was because of the alcohol that she felt so dizzy all a sudden. She didn't even notice that Raven started to lean forward slowly. Before anything happened, Octavia cleared her throat and turned away. She launched an hurried "good night" at Raven behind her. 

The girl sighed quietly when she saw the brunette already reaching the stairs. Even if she was conscious that she couldn't hear her anymore, she murmured:

"Yeah, good night…"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think of this chapter guys ;)  
> Clexa will appear in the next Chapter ;)


	3. Chapter 3

Raven was on the couch, reading the sixth volume of Game of Thrones entitled _A Storm of Swords_. Octavia was at work and would be back in about an hour.

It was just another ordinary day before Clarke decided to show up with her new girlfriend, Lexa. 

"So we have vodka, rum, tequila and a few beers. And I thought we could order pizza, what do you think?"

The blonde smiled widely while making her way to the kitchen's table, putting the two plastic bags she was carrying on it. 

Raven raised her eyebrows in surprise. She put down her book and stood up, crossing her arms. 

"Are you improvising a party in _my_ house without informing me about it beforehand?"

Clarke turned back to her and said like her behaviour was totally normal:

"Hell yeah I am. You haven't talked to me in weeks!"

" _Week_ ," Raven corrected with a smile, "It's been a week, Clarke. And _you_ told me _you_ were unavailable, I remind you."

Clarke smirked in Lexa's direction who smiled, a little bit embarrassed. 

"Well," Clarke started with a teasing expression on her face, "I heard that you've been pretty busy too, my friend…"

Raven shook her head, taken aback. She mumbled:

"Octavia and I... It's not like that..."

Clarke removed the groceries from the bags. Still having a playful smile stuck on her lips, she said:

"I never mentioned it was like _that_ …"

Raven had just been tricked on that one. There was no way now that Clarke would let go easily. But Lexa took a step forward and stroke her girlfriend's arm softly with a smile:

"Leave her alone."

Before Clarke could say anything back and continue being annoying about the mysterious Octavia, Lexa said to Raven:

"Nice to meet you by the way. Clarke has told me a lot about you."

Raven greeted her back. She couldn't believe Lexa just made Clarke shut up, it was quite a miracle. 

Clarke shrugged and added after a few seconds:

"I just wanted to say that I'm glad to finally meet this girl."

Raven took the phone to order the pizzas and said with a smirk:

"You'll see, she's pretty cool…"

*

_Three hours later_

 

The four girls were now seated on the floor, next to the couch, legs crossed, except for Raven who left her left leg perpendicular to her body. They were drinking, talking and laughing at Clarke's stupid jokes. 

Octavia immediately liked Clarke and Lexa and the feeling was mutual. She actually had never met someone like Clarke, someone as funny, self-confident and free-spirited as this young woman was. She had blonde hair and blue intense eyes. And Octavia found adorable how she was acting with her girlfriend, always flirting with winks, smiles and quick kissed on the cheek. 

Lexa was quite the opposite. She had beautiful long brown hair and green eyes. She was more discrete. She wasn't antisocial or anything, just a little bit more reserved than her girlfriend. But Octavia could see how much these two loved each other unconditionally.

After a shot of vodka shared with Raven, Clarke launched with a big enthusiasm, like she just had the best idea ever:

"Let's play a game!"

Lexa looked at her, dubious. Raven raised her eyebrows and Octavia took a sip of her orange juice/rum cocktail. 

"Oh come on guys! It'll be fun!" Clarke insisted.

Raven sighed. She exchanged a look with Lexa who shrugged and said:

"Ok fine."

Clarke giggled, clapping her hands in excitement. Raven noticed she was already quite drunk.

"What game?" Octavia asked.

Clarke pretended to think about it, but she knew exactly what she wanted to play. She looked at Raven, Octavia and Lexa successively and announced happily:

"Let's play _Never Have I Ever_."

Raven rolled her eyes:

"We're not 12."

Clarke glared at her and Raven immediately raised her hands in protest:

"Just sayin'…"

Clarke turned back to Lexa to get some support. The brunette put down her drink and said nicely:

"Whatever you want, babe."

Clarke smiled satisfied.

"Ok, so I'll start. If you've done what I say, you drink."

The three girls nodded. 

Clarke bit her bottom lip as she was thinking. 

"Ok, I got it. Never have I ever… had sex in the back of a pickup truck…"

Lexa opened her mouth and turned her head slowly towards the blonde.

"I can't believe you…"

"Just drink." Clarke replied with a laugh while raising her cup to her own lips. 

Lexa took a sip in front of Raven's desperate look, Octavia laughed quietly and launched:

"Ok, my turn. Never have I ever…" she paused and then said: "…made a sex tape…."

Clarke immediately took her cup. Lexa shook her head with a smile, without drinking. Octavia looked at Raven, raising her eyebrows. The girl shrugged:

"Don't look at me!"

Clarke stared at her with a frown and said with a loud voice :

"Hey, you can't lie Reyes!"

Raven replied, exaggerating Clarke's tone:

"I'm not lying, Griffin!"

Lexa giggled and Clarke made her usual teasing face to Raven and said:

"What about Anya?"

Raven pursed her lips trying to act like she wasn't ashamed of anything. She mumbled:

"It wasn't really a sex tape…"

Octavia glanced to Raven and asked curious:

"Who's Anya?"

Clarke opened her eyes widely and took another slip of vodka so that she could avoid answering the awkward question. Raven sighed and only responded with:

"My ex girlfriend." 

There was a silence for a short moment before Raven launched at the brunette:

"Lexa, your turn."

The girl thought about it for few seconds and said, taking her girlfriend's cup in her hand with a smile:

"Well, I will say something that Clarke hasn't done so that she can stop drinking."

Clarke opened her mouth looking very disappointing but Lexa kissed her on her cheek so she sighed:

"Ok, fine, I'll slow down."

Lexa poured herself a shot of vodka and said:

"Never have I ever... had a relationship that lasted longer than 5 months."

Clarke rolled her eyes and opened her mouth to protest, a little bit offended to not have to drink on that one. Lexa shut her up with a laugh and a quick peck. 

Octavia didn't drink. As far as she could remember, her longest relationship lasted for about a month. 

Raven took a big sip of alcohol without noticing Octavia's eyes on her. She was focused on Clarke and Lexa being so cheesy together. She wasn't used to Clarke acting like that. She was so whipped. Raven thought it was kind of sweet. Lexa still had to earn her trust though; the girl better not break her best friend's heart. 

Clarke stopped kissing Lexa and looked at Raven:

"Your turn Reyes."

Raven had no clue of what to say. She didn't want to be too forward in front of Octavia so she opted for something simple:

"Never have I ever slept with someone of the same sex."

Clarke smirked looking at her girlfriend who was already taking a sip. She wanted to grab the cup but Lexa moved it away from her. Clarke quickly abandoned with a sigh. Raven took a sip as well. And then, the three girls stared at Octavia with mouth and eyes wide opened. She was drinking. 

"Oh my gosh!" Clarke giggled. 

Raven was kind of surprise too. She didn't expect this from Octavia. The latter tried to justify herself, smiling:

"What? I've done some stuff…"

Clarke laughed again followed by Lexa. Raven stared at Octavia discretely. 

Playing this game had definitely been a good idea.

*

_The next day_

They were wandering in the park, trying to fight the hangover. Some fresh air was making them feel slightly better. The old trees provided them with shade, and somewhat the sound of the city around them seemed lighter, creating a peaceful environment. Two excited children ran out of the squeaky playground gate and down the other side of the alley.

And, after a few moments walking and talking, the two girls walked by a very familiar spot. 

It was the bench, white and scratched by the time. The same one. Octavia stopped it and made Raven look at her.

"What?"

Octavia's eyes were locked on the bench and all the memories from that night came back. She had been having a great day so far but now, this simple bench made her feel nauseous. 

She felt tears burning her eyes. She swallowed hard and shook her head. She replied to Raven without looking at her directly: 

"It's.. the bench.."

Raven frowned and looked at it. Then she got what it was going on.

"Oh. Is that the same one?"

She had a small smile on her lips but Octavia couldn't take her eyes off the bench. Raven took a step forward and faced her with her brown eyes. She said softly, a little worried:

"You're okay?"

Octavia shook her head and replied with a sigh:

"I don't know…"

She rubbed her forehead with her hand and sat on the bench. Raven joined her. It was strange how this whole situation felt exactly like the time they met. Octavia's gaze was plunged in an unsettling emptiness. There was a long pause before Raven risked to say quietly:

"You know… You never told me what happened to you that night."

Octavia froze as she heard her friend's words and looked up to her. Her mouth was slightly opened and her eyes were bright with tears. She couldn't talk about it. She wanted to, though. She had wanted to tell Raven for a while now. She couldn't stand to take it all by herself anymore. But putting words on what happened will make it real. And she couldn't stand the idea. She replied with a dry tone, taking the defensive way out:

"Yeah, well, you never told me what is wrong with your leg."

Raven shivered and Octavia immediately felt terrible about what she just said. 

She could tell by Raven's expression that the girl didn't enjoy her sudden aggressive tone. Octavia looked down, thinking that maybe she said something really bad, maybe it was too painful for Raven to talk about. 

They both remained silent for few seconds before Octavia finally murmured:

"I'm sorry…"

Raven took her hand without even looking at her. 

She knew that Octavia didn't want to be unkind on purpose. She had figured out early on that it was difficult for her to talk about herself; and she understood the feeling fairly well. 

"It's fine." Raven said softly.

But she was lying. It wasn't fine. None of this was fine. 

Her hand felt cold in hers but she kind of liked the sensation on her skin. She pursed her lips and turned her head towards Octavia who was staring at her with bright, beautiful eyes. She was still mortified by what she had said. 

Raven smiled softly and stood up. 

Octavia knew that, somehow, her words had affected her. It made her realize that she really cared about Raven. There was something about her, something sad and hardened at the same time. Her lips smiled, but her eyes didn't.

They both walked home in an oppressive silence. 

*

_A few hours later_

Raven was lying on her bed, arms crossed above her head. She couldn't fall asleep. She hadn't said a word to Octavia since they had gotten back from the park.

She wanted to know if her roommate was okay. She got up and walked towards Octavia's bedroom. She knocked and opened the door slightly.

Octavia was lying on her side, reading a book. Her hair was up into a ponytail, some strands hanging loose. She looked absolutely stunning in the pale lighting of her nightstand's lamp. Raven mumbled, a shoulder against the doorframe:

"Hey… Can I come in?"

Octavia raised her head. 

"Yeah sure." She replied with a casual tone.

Raven closed the door behind her and sat on the edge of the bed. Octavia sat crossed legged and closed her book, looking at Raven, waiting for her to say something. The latter pursed her lips nervously so Octavia started quietly:

"Sorry again about earlier... I shouldn't have said that…"

"It's not you fault… It's just-"

Raven's voice broke and Octavia's look became more persistent. It's in this moment that Raven noticed the tattoos on the side of Octavia's neck. How had she not seen them before? Eight black butterflies, two big ones on the bottom, the others growing smaller the closer to her hairline they were. It looked like they were flying away. 

"When did you get that?" Raven asked with a smirk, pointing to Octavia's neck.

She wanted to change of subject, it looked pretty obvious. But Octavia didn't mind and answered with a smile:

"For my fifteenth birthday. It was a gift actually."

"From your brother?" Raven asked without hiding her curiosity. 

Octavia shook her head slowly and looked down.

She told Raven about Bellamy a few days ago but she hadn't been very specific. She wanted to keep things in the past and just forget about it. Raven didn't insist before, but now, she wanted to know more about Octavia's tattoos. 

"Shit… I keep asking you questions all the time, I’m sorry, I-" Raven said with shifty eyes.

"No, it's okay." Octavia replied with a soft smile. 

She stared at Raven for few seconds and touched the back of her neck with her fingertips. She added with a quiet voice:

"Someone did it for me. Someone… special…"

Raven nodded with a wink:

"Oh, I see… A boyfriend, right?"

Octavia laughed quietly. There was a pause, then, shaking her head, she replied:

"It's… more complicated than that…" 

Raven sighed softly. Her friend was so mysterious, so evasive. It was like, every time Raven managed to get something new out of her, Octavia raised a multitude of other questions.

Octavia rubbed her eyes. 

"I'm tired, I should go to sleep."

Raven nodded in agreement and stood up to go back to her bedroom when Octavia grabbed her by the wrist.

"Wait."

Raven turned back around. She saw Octavia pursing her lips nervously before asking with a faltering voice:

"Could you… just stay with me for a minute?"

Raven smiled tenderly at her and sat back down on the bed.

"Yes sure."

Octavia laid down on her side, turning her back to Raven who finally decided to lay down behind her. She could feel and smell Octavia's hair. She felt good, peaceful. It was a strange but pleasing feeling to have someone by her side, to not be alone anymore. 

Raven fell asleep, her arm touching Octavia's back and her fingertips tangled in her hair.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys for reading ^^ And again, thank you to my friend Charlotte ;)


	4. Chapter 4

_The next day - 6 pm_

 

Screams were coming from the kitchen downstairs. 

Octavia was lying on her bed, reading a book that Raven had given her. She was a little bit skeptical at first when she saw the dark cover and the title _Game of Thrones_ on it. She didn't really like the medieval world in general but this time, she had been captivated rather quickly. She especially loved the character of Arya Stark. 

She was in the middle of the _Battle of the Blackwater_ when the shouting made her raise her head and frown. She could distinguish Raven's voice but it was impossible to recognize the other one. It was a girl, obviously, but it couldn't be Clarke or Lexa because they had decided to go camping for the weekend. 

Octavia got up and headed towards the stairs. The voices were louder as she walked down the stairs and approached the entrance of the kitchen. She stayed behind the wall, catching every single words of the conversation without being seen. 

"Listen to me Raven! I just want to be there for you."

The girl's words made Octavia shiver. She figured the girl might be close enough to Raven to talk to her this way. And Raven's panicked voice proved her right. She heard her saying with a calm but resentful tone:

"I don't need you. And lower your voice."

The girl continued:

"I'm worried about you. You're refusing my help, you're refusing everyone's help, you didn't want anyone to approach you and now… now you're welcoming a stranger into your house. I mean, who the hell is that girl? Do you even know where the hell she came from?"

Octavia felt a pinch in her stomach. They were talking about her. She waited for Raven to defend her but the brunette only said with a clear-cut voice:

"Octavia doesn't know anything."

Octavia swallowed hardly. She knew Raven was keeping something from her but it was strange to hear her speak so coldly. 

This girl seemed to have a lot of information on Raven while Octavia had actually never known much. 

She guessed the girl was probably Anya, the ex girlfriend that Raven mentioned during the game with Clarke and Lexa. 

But Octavia still didn't understand why Raven was letting her talk to her this way.

The girl exploded:

"You're selfish. You don't care about other people. You made us suffer during all those years. I fucking hate you."

Octavia wait for Raven to say something. But all she could hear was the other girl crying and the loud sound of the door shutting behind her as the girl stormed out. 

Octavia heard Raven sigh deeply and, afraid of being noticed, walked back upstairs. She had heard enough anyway. 

She felt like hitting something. She didn't understand why she was so upset at the moment. 

Maybe it was because Raven's ex girlfriend had showed up. Maybe it was because Raven hadn't done anything to defend herself. 

She fell down on her bed and buried her head in the pillow, cutting short the tears of frustration that were threatening to fall. 

 

*

_10 pm_

It was already dark outside when Raven joined Octavia in her bedroom. She found her asleep, on her belly and her head between her arms. Her hair was a mess but Raven found her beautiful and smiled anyway. She went towards the bed and sat on the edge. She stroked her hair gently. It made Octavia blink.

"Sorry. I didn't mean to wake you." Raven said softly.

"Mm, it's fine." Octavia mumbled rubbing her eyes. She sat up and, after a pause, added quietly:

"Why didn't you tell me?" Octavia asked with a sigh.

Raven frowned in confusion at first but then understood what the brunette meant. She noticed Octavia's jaw clench, a clear indication that she was upset. She shook her head and asked quietly:

"You heard everything my sister said?"

Octavia raised her eyebrows. She looked up, her face illuminated and mumbled perplexed:

"That was… your _sister_?"

Raven smirked with a frown:

"Well, yeah. Who did you think it was?"

Octavia couldn't hide her embarrassment. She pursed her lips nervously, escaping Raven's look and mumbled softly:

"I thought… I don't know. Maybe Anya..."

Raven raised her eyebrows, mouth wide opened and let out a small laugh:

"Anya and I haven't spoken in months!"

Octavia blushed, ashamed that Raven might have guessed she just acted like she was jealous.

She replied, turning the blame on Raven as to not be taken as a complete fool:

"Yeah, well, you didn't tell me you had a sister!"

Raven smiled, amused by her friend's inconvenience. She sighed and added nicely:

"My family is quite complicated. I didn't tell you because I didn't want you to worry about it, that's all." 

Octavia rubbed her forehead. She went for it anyway:

"So… what was that about?"

Raven only shrugged. Octavia sighed of disappointment in front of her friend's silence and added: 

"I'm feeling like we're not talking much about each other, Raven…"

This latter nodded with a sad smile on her lips. She thought maybe it was the moment to tell Octavia a little bit more about her past, but she didn't know exactly where to start. 

So, after a few seconds, she took a deep breath and just went for it:

"Her name is Reagan. She's a couple years younger than me. And she hates me because my _condition_ made her childhood a complete nightmare. I can't blame her though."

She paused and, noticing that Octavia was paying close attention, her eyes wide opened, she continued quietly:

"Our dad took off when we were young. He was too afraid to have to take care of a disabled child, he couldn't deal with it. I always thought he was a coward. But Reagan never forgot that he left because of _me_."

Octavia noticed Raven's grim look on her face and the tears in her eyes. She said with a sigh:

"It's not your fault."

Raven looked at her intensely. She hadn't talk about her father with anyone before, even Clarke. She wasn't used to open up to people like that.

Octavia was different, she always knew it. And, in that instant, she was so afraid of this feeling that was growing inside her chest without there's nothing she could do to stop it. 

All she wanted to do was take Octavia into her arms. So she did. The girl was a little bit surprised at first but when she felt Raven's head slightly resting on her shoulder, she immediately felt safe and appeased. She closed her eyes when she smelled Raven's perfume. It was sweet and spicy at the same time.

They didn't need to talk more. Not at the moment. They were just happy and relieved to have each other. 

They stayed like that for a while before they finally fell asleep next to each other.

 

*

 

Octavia woke up in the middle of the night, screaming. Raven turned on the light in panic and stroked her shoulder. 

"It's okay, you were having a nightmare."

Octavia sat up, one hand on her chest to calm her breathing. Her hair was sticking to her face because of the sweat. Raven moved it aside with her hand. She rubbed Octavia's cheeks slowly. They were wet with tears.

"It's okay, you're safe." She said, putting Octavia's head on her shoulder. The girl's breathing seemed to settle down as Raven rocked back and forth. 

"It's… the same dream." Octavia murmured.

Raven pulled away slightly to looked at her. 

"You want to talk about it?"

Octavia closed her eyes like she was concentrating.

"The baby. It's crying. And… there is… a woman. She wants to kill me."

Raven frowned. What Octavia was saying didn't make any sense. She shook her head and whispered, her hand still on the girl's cheek:

"It's only a dream."

Octavia shook her head and started to cry again. She said between two sobs:

"You don't understand. _I am_ the baby."

Raven nodded without letting her hand off of Octavia's cheek. The latter swallowed back a sob and wrapped her fingers around Raven's wrist. They were so close to each other. Octavia whispered:

"I've never told anyone about that dream."

Raven smiled at her and stroked her hair gently.

"Maybe I'm not anyone." She murmured.

Octavia laid down, her head buried between Raven's arms. They both went back to sleep.

 

*

_The next day_

Octavia woke up with a sweet feeling of happiness. Despite her dream, she spent the remaining of the night actually resting. She looked at her phone on the nightstand. It was late, almost noon. She looked next to her and noticed the space was empty, but the sheets were still creased so she knew Raven had spent the night next to her. She smiled at the image and rubbed her eyes. 

She stood up and went downstairs and walked into the kitchen. She thought she would see Raven having lunch or something but there was no one around. The place was quiet until Octavia heard a metallic noise which surprised her. 

She frowned. The sound was coming from the garage so she walked towards the door and opened it. She saw Raven on her knees, next to a black motorcycle, surrounded by all sorts of tools. The brunette raised her hair in a ponytail. She turned her head towards Octavia and launched a happy "Hi!" followed by a charming smile. 

Octavia stared at her for few seconds as Raven stood up and grabbed a piece of rag to clean her hands covered in grease. She was all sweaty. Her red tank top was sticking to her skin and Octavia swallowed hardly. She tried to hide the dazing look on her face at the view of the brunette. It was only Raven for God's sake! She didn't understand why she felt so weird all of a sudden. And Raven might have noticed something was wrong with her because she glared at her with a smirk and launched:

"You're okay?"

Octavia nodded slowly in silence as she felt her cheeks getting a little warm. She felt embarrassed about the night before and her nightmare. But she figured Raven didn't mind so she mumbled before turning away:

"I will cook something.. you know.. for lunch.."

Raven raised her eyebrows at her friend's strange reaction but she smiled anyway.

"Hum, okay."

She decided to get back to her work later and joined Octavia in the kitchen a few minutes later. 

The girl was above the stove, the cheese melting on the top of a toast in the wood-burner. She turned her eyes at the moment Raven took a bottle of water and drank some sips. 

Octavia pursed her lips. She was staring at the brunette again. 

_"Damn it"_ , she thought. 

She immediately went back to the toast when Raven looked up at her and caught her staring.  


"Is there something wrong?" Raven asked, suspicious.

Octavia replied, a little embarrassed:

"No, not at all. Why?"

"I don't know. You're acting… weird."

Octavia blushed a little bit embarrassed. She discerned how dark Raven's eyes were. She noticed it already the time when Raven hold her hand on the bench. She remembered how good this simple contact felt and how Raven's look changed all of a sudden. She also remembered what she had said to her. About her leg. 

She shook her head and hurried to add with the most normal voice she could mutter:

"I'm fine. Really."

She smiled but Raven was still not convinced. She replied with a soft voice:

"You… you're not mad at me, are you?"

Octavia looked up and raised her eyebrows. She frowned and said:

"No! Of course not. Why would I be?"

Raven pursed her lips. She looked down and mumbled quietly:

"Well, I know sometimes I can be a little… difficult to bond with. And… it's just… I don't like to talk much you know… Especially about my leg…"

The toasts were ready so Octavia stopped what she was doing to look at Raven. She didn't really know what to do. She hadn't meant to act strange around the brunette in the first place, and she certainly didn't want her to think she was mad. She smiled and said:

"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to."

Raven looked at her deeply and replied:

"No, I want to! I really do. One day, maybe..."

Octavia nodded:

"Ok then."

She smiled and Raven sighed before taking a step forwards. She brushed her hand against Octavia's back while walking away and launched:

"I'm gonna take a quick shower."

Octavia nodded in agreement as her cheeks felt warm again. And she knew it was because Raven just touched her. She didn't know exactly what was going on with her, but it certainly had something to do with Raven. 

Probably.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, I'm french so don't hesitate to tell me if there is any language mistakes!  
> Thank you guys for reading, I will try to update soon ;)


	5. Chapter 5

Octavia closed the book and stretched her arms with a satisfied smile. 

She didn't exactly know since when she had been reading, probably a couple of hours. She decided to go see Raven and ask her for the next volume. The girl had been in the garage for what seemed to be a while now. 

When Octavia opened the door, she saw her friend standing above a metallic board that she made herself. She used it to carry stuff on it. The entire place was a mess actually: tools were all over the floor which was dirty and sticky with grease in some spots. It was kind of Raven's sanctuary and Octavia liked it despite the strong smell of fuel and brimstone. It seemed like you could find anything you needed in here. 

Raven was grumbling unintelligibly as she was rummaging through a toolkit. She frowned, looking deep in thoughts, and Octavia thought that it wasn't an appropriate time to disturb her. She cleared her throat shyly and it made Raven turn to look at her.

"Hey." The girl launched while putting down the wrench in her hand on the metallic shelf.

Octavia answered with a smile, staring amusedly at Raven's dishevelled hair. 

"Sorry to bother you…"

Raven replied with a charming smile:

"No, it's okay."

Octavia took a step forward and handed the book to Raven.

"I finished it." 

"Already?" The girl asked raising her eyebrows. Octavia nodded.

"Yeah. I really liked it. Do you have the next one?"

"Mm, I think Clarke borrowed it last week. I should remind her to give it back or I'm sure I will never see it again." Raven said rolling her eyes playfully. 

Octavia laughed softly but she got interrupted by the sudden buzz of Raven's phone on the metallic shelf. Octavia's eyes stared at the screen and she read the name "Reagan" on it. Raven took the phone as fast as she could but she knew Octavia saw who was calling. 

She bit her lip looking at the screen with a sigh, not certain of what to do. She finally chose to press the green button and said with a neutral tone.

"Hello?"

Even if Octavia was dying to know what this call was about, she understood that this was a private conversation and left the garage so that she wouldn't impose on the brunette. 

*

Raven reappeared half an hour later. She looked exhausted. When she felt Octavia's eyes on her, she felt the need to explain everything:

"It was my sister."

Octavia nodded:

"Yeah I figured that out."

Raven sighed but remained silent. Avoiding Octavia's eyes, she headed towards the kitchen sink and leaned against it, next to the coffee machine. She took a red cup and pressed the button. She crossed her arms, waiting to the coffee to pour.

Octavia approached the girl and said softly with concern:

"Are you okay?"

Raven sighed again, louder. She was clearly getting on her nerves but said as calmly as she could:

"She wants to meet you."

Octavia raised her eyebrows. It wasn't as bad as she thought. She replied with a soft smile:

"I don't mind."

Raven shook her head and looked at her intensely with a sad expression on her face. 

"You don't know her."

Octavia shrugged and replied sarcastically:

"Yeah, exactly, that's why I should meet her."

Raven let escape a small laugh. 

"No, I mean… You don't know how she's like…"

She paused and Octavia frowned, disconcerted. Raven added:

"She can be… really rude without even realising it. I don't want her to hurt your feelings…"

Octavia smirked and said with confidence:

"I think I can handle her."

Raven laughed slightly. She liked when Octavia pretended to be a badass just to make her feel better. The truth was Raven liked that because, well, it was kind of hot. 

But she couldn’t stop herself from worrying. Octavia had no idea what she was getting into. 

*

_The next day_

They were expecting Reagan to arrive any moment now. 

Octavia never saw Raven this worried before. She knew it was stressing her out to see her sister. Octavia though that family never was easy anyway. But the girl couldn't stop pacing all morning, running her hand through her hair nervously. Octavia grabbed her gently by her shoulders. 

"Hey, calm down."

Raven took a deep breath. She looked at Octavia and, after a pause, she said firmly:

"If she does or say anything inappropriate, I'll kick her out."

Octavia smirked and said without really meaning it:

"You're freaking me out."

But Raven was too tense to notice her playful tone and replied:

"Good. Now you're aware."

At the same moment, the doorbell rang.

Raven swallowed hardly and headed towards the front door, leaving Octavia behind her. Before Raven opened the door, she glanced at the brunette one more time, searching for any sign that might change her mind but Octavia just nodded, encouraging her. Raven considered the door for few seconds before finally opened it. She stepped aside and Reagan entered slowly into the house.

*

Octavia was on the couch, sitting a few feet away from Reagan. Raven walked towards them holding a tray with cups of coffee and cookies on it. Reagan immediately took a cup in silence. She had barely said anything since she had gotten here and Octavia started to feel really uncomfortable. Raven handed a cup to Octavia who took it with a gentle smile, and she sat down opposite from her sister, next to Octavia. 

Noticing her sister's avoiding look, Reagan ignored her and took a sip. She finally asked Octavia:

"So… do you like it here? I mean, the city is pretty cool."

Raven raised her eyebrows, surprised by her sister's nice tone. But she understood in that moment that she was hiding her true intentions.

"Yes, it's a great place. I work at the Hooters downtown actually…"  
Reagan nearly choked on her coffee and Raven couldn't stop herself and burst out laughing. Reagan glared at her and it made her shut up right away. Octavia raised her eyebrows, a little bit confused. Reagan said with a sassy look on her face:

"So you're serving hamburgers in a slinky skirt to dirty dudes for a living?"

Raven wasn't laughing at all anymore and she stood up to say loudly: 

"Reagan!"

"What? I'm just asking!" The girl replied with a frightening look. 

Octavia thought Raven was about to jump on her sister and slap her. So she hurried to add with a calm voice:

"It's okay. I know people think it's kind of a weird place but it isn't, really. My boss and the girls I work with are really nice people. And yeah, maybe once in a while there are a bunch of college guys who are trying to flirt with us, but mostly it's families who come, you know."

Octavia took a sip of coffee and added with a teasing smile:

"And we're wearing shorts, not skirts."

Raven saw her sister's mouth opening and closing and she was thrilled by how Octavia made her shut up. She bit her lip to contain her laugh. Reagan slightly shrugged and tried to hide her embarrassment. 

But Raven hid a sigh when she noticed her sister was about to say something more.

"And you get along with this one?" Reagan asked, referring to Raven with a quick nod in her direction. 

Octavia looked at her a little bit surprised by the question. She mumbled awkwardly:

"Hum, yeah. I really like her…"

Raven smirked and looked at Octavia. She didn't expect her sister to notice. Reagan jumped on the chance to humiliate her again and said playfully:

"You know she's gay, right?"

Raven closed her eyes and sighed loudly. But Octavia was kind of amused by the question and replied with a sarcastic tone:

"Yeah, so?"

Reagan shrugged. After few seconds, she asked again:

"Are you?"

Octavia frowned, afraid she might not understand the question.

"Am I what?"

"A lesbian." Reagan replied naturally. 

Octavia opened her mouth in disconcertment but she didn't have the time to answer because Raven instantly exploded:

"Stop it."

"What?" Reagan replied, acting like she hadn't been indiscrete at all. 

Raven knew she only wanted to push Octavia.

"You can't stop yourself, can't you?" 

Raven was mad, Octavia could tell. She wasn't offended by Reagan's question or anything but Raven seemed to take it like it was a purpose cutting remark from the girl. 

"I'm just trying to get to know her." Reagan said, trying to justify herself. 

"That's bullshit. You're just trying to make her feel bad. You always do that to people I like." 

Octavia shivered. She didn't know if she should be worried about Raven getting upset or happy about what she had just said. She tried to say something to calm her down but Reagan cut her off:

"Oh I'm sorry, I didn't know you were in love with her and shit."

Raven had her mouth and eyes wide opened. She couldn't believe her sister had just said that. She noticed Octavia blushing and it made her feel even worse. 

"I never said that I was in love with her, Reagan. God, you're so annoying…"

Reagan shook her head in protest. She looked like a little girl, acted like an angel when she was in fact guilty. 

"I didn't say anything wrong."

Raven laughed sarcastically and replied dryly, accentuating every word:

"Yeah right. This is not the first time you've acted like this."

Reagan paused for few seconds, fixing her gaze on her sister. Certainly tired of her accusations, she exploded:

"Hey, it's not my fault if Anya left you."

Octavia knew the conversation had suddenly gone into a totally different direction and Reagan was now trying to hurt her sister. And it worked because Raven stood up immediately, ready to punch her sister. Reagan followed her movement and Octavia interposed herself between the two girls just in time. She pressed her hands against Raven's shoulders to immobilize her.

"Wow, take it easy."

Raven didn't even look at her, still focusing on her sister who had eyes brightened with anger. 

"I should go." Reagan said with a quiet voice. 

Raven's jaw tensed but she remained silent. Octavia noticed her clenched fist and she nodded towards Reagan in agreement. 

"I think that would be for the best..."

"I'm sorry…" The girl addressed herself quietly to Octavia. She turned away without saying anything to her sister and left through the front door.

Once alone, Octavia stared at Raven with a frown:

"What the hell was that?"

Raven finally raised her head towards her and said like the situation had turned exactly how she had predicted:

"I told you. She's unbearable."

Octavia raised her eyebrows and said:

"Are you kidding me? You're the one who got mad all a sudden!"

Raven opened her mouth like she was shocked that Octavia was taking her sister's side and not hers.

"She was completely over the line Octavia! She kept asking you improper questions!"

The brunette shook her head:

"No, you weren't mad because of the things she said to _me_. You're mad because of what she said to _you_. About Anya…"

Raven pursed her lips without answering. She sighed and walked away.

"Where are you going?" Octavia launched behind her.

"I want to be alone." Raven said dryly without even turning back. 

And before Octavia could protest, Raven was already reaching the stairs. 

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You'll see why Raven is so upset and you'll learn a little bit more about Reagan in the next chapter ;)  
> I will update soon I promise! Thank you guys for reading ;)


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